hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I need mimosas to revive my soul
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
