For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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