this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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