i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
