Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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