goodnight i made you a song goodbye
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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