He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
