69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
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