his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
