Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
