yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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