your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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