Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Randomize
