ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
