I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
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