Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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