Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
