I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
