You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
