thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
