Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
