Yo dont text me then not text me
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
