Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
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