He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
3pm strippers are depressing
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Randomize
