The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
