if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
