I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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