We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
