ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Randomize
