I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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