Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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