I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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