i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Randomize
