Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
