if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
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