I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
You've changed since you got that strap on
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
