I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize