so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
