I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I have aggressive nipples.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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