When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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