is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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