I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize