you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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