you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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