She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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