Do vagina's smell?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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