dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
