He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
