is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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