I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Randomize