I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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