you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
