I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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