If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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