There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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