Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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