Ambien. No doubt about it.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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