yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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