I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
They took my balls.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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