i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
