Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
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