who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
The struggles of a small town man whore
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
