i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
