My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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