he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize