I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
