Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
