I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Why can't burritos get me drunk
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize