You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
